Super Sunday!

It's been a super Sunday for many reasons. For one it is Superbowl Sunday. Yes I am celebrating the big game not because I love or even like football, but rather because it signifies the end of the football season. Yippie! It is also an occasion to eat junk and not feel bad about it.

The second reason it has been a good day is I got to clean the house. I know how sad that sounds but I can't do much during the week days so today I made Sean take over babysitting duties while I vacuumed, mopped, cleaned carpet and other fun stuff. A clean house makes me happy.

Third reason I'm happy is because of prunes. Let's just say Wesley's been stopped up for the past three days. We tried the prunes and an hour and a half later they had worked their magic. I'm thankful for prunes and I'm thankful for a husband that will clean lots of poo and not complain about it.

Tomorrow I will be taking Cisco Bob our golden retriever back into the vet for the third time and will not be leaving until they do something for him. He was limping and went and had an X-ray done that showed nothing wrong so they put him on glucosimine which upset his stomach and he stopped eating his food four days ago. I've been able to get 4-5 milk bones down him each day but today he stopped eating those and he looks BAD. I hope they can do something for him, I'm really worried about him. Of all the dogs, he is the best around Wesley and I'd really like Wesley to grow up with him. Keep your fingers crossed for Bob.

Family Picture Time!

A friend of the family took some very nice photo's of the gang at Christmas time. Wesley never would smile for the camera, it was nap time after all.



And here is Wesley with the slightest smile. What you don't see is me behind the scenes dancing my butt off trying to get him to smile. Victory.



Photo's posted with permission.

Ramblings

Long before children were even on the horizon I would walk through Target and notice a woman pushing a cart with her small child sitting in the front of the cart surrounded by a cover of sorts. I'm sure you've seen these shopping cart covers, they line the seat and handle preventing said child from touching the germ soaked cart. Well, I used to think these women were nuts. Overprotective is the word that comes to mind. I have now become one of these women. You see when your baby is an infant they get carried around in their infant car seat that can be removed from the base and then sits on top of the shopping cart and thus protecting your baby from the horrible, evil cart. Now that Wesley is on the verge of outgrowing his infant car seat I am faced with the reality that he will have to sit in the germ infested seat of the shopping cart. I wish I had a picture of him sucking on his highchair tray to insert here because I know he would do the same thing to the shopping cart. Yuck. So I'm thinking of buying this cover:

I just don't want to spend $35 on it, that seems like a lot of money for a stupid seat cover. Sean suggested I make one with my new sewing machine. I looked at him like he had a horn growing out of his forehead, I mean seriously WHEN would I make one?? Ohhh I think he means after I get done eating bon bons and painting my fingernails while lounging on the couch. I wish I had the time to make one but I don't. I feel bad that my parents got me a nice sewing machine for Christmas and I haven't even taken it out of the box yet. I wonder if I will ever again have time to do things like that. How did I get off subject? What was the subject?

Attack of the Mamarazzi

Yes I always have a camera in hand. We had our own little photo shoot this morning before bath time and here are the results. I think they turned out cute. He's such a cute little naked boy.

Updates and Random Thoughts

There really isn't a lot to update but I felt like writing tonight so here goes it.

-Wesley went over the Grandma and Grandpa's house today to be babysat while we escaped, I mean went to Red Lobster to gorge ourselves on snow crab legs. Oh they were delicious! Thank you Doyle and Sarah for the gift certificate! We went in to my parents house to take Wesley home and he was passed out on the couch sleeping with the tv blaring, two little yipper dogs barking and my folks talking. It was amazing he was sleeping. And here I am tip toeing through our house while he sleeps, that's the end of that!

-I am researching convertible car seats since Wesley is quickly outgrowing his infant seat. I am pretty sure we are going to go with the highly rated Britax Marathon seat but it's quite pricey at $269. I'm trying to decide if it is THAT much better than the $80 Graco seat. It does come in a nifty black and white cow pattern or a green mossy camo color which is fun, not sure that makes it $190 better....but it might.

-Cisco Bob our golden retriever has done something to his leg where he won't put any weight on it and just hobbles around. It's pathetic. So he went into the vet for the second time and got an x-ray done of the leg. Nothing is wrong with the leg according to the x-ray so the vet said it was probably the beginning of arthritis. He's only six years old. Poor guy. It sucks when animals get old.

-Looks like Uncle Sam is giving us a little money this year, yippie!

-My Mom said Wesley's face has changed a lot since she saw him a week and a half ago. The little guy is changing so fast it's crazy. We can now lay him on the floor and in the span of a few minutes he will wiggle a foot or two away.

In the world of baby food:

Carrots: ***** (5 star)
Sweet tators: **** (4 star)
Squash: **** (4 star)
Pears: **** (4 star)
Applesauce: ***** (5 star)
Sweet peas: (0 stars) throw it in the dumpster Mom! YUCK!

We still have quite a bit to try.

Well that's all I can think of to write, guess I'd better go to bed.

More laughing baby video

The kid loves to laugh and I can't get enough of it!

A visit to the Talking Head

Wesley had his six month well baby exam today. I can't stand his pediatrician, we'll call him Dr. TalkingHead. He earned this nickname after several different visits were I would leave the office more confused than I entered after asking him questions. The man likes to talk but doesn't seem to know what he's talking about, so he gives these vague answers that circumvent the question totally. It's maddening. So today I go in there with my normal list of questions (most of which I came home this evening and Googled on the internet) such as: 1. "I'm getting a cavity filled next week, is the local they give me for pain ok while I'm breastfeeding?" Ok, not a bad question....he gives me a strange look and says "Ummm wellll ask your dentist." Alrighty. 2. I ask "He's been getting patchy red spots on his cheeks one or two times a week in the evenings could it be a food reaction?" Dr. TalkingHead says "Ummmm welllll it could be food or weather related, pretty much anything." Strike two. 3. I ask "Do you recommend a specific lotion for his dry cheeks?" He says "Hmmmm pretty much anything but baby lotions." Way to be specific. The list goes on. Grrrrr. I would find another pediatrician but this is the only guy I could find that would work with me on a selective vaccination schedule.

So he then moves on to the physical exam. Gives Wesley a thorough looking over, gets to his wee willie and starts pulling the skin away from the tip of his willie. I mean pulling hard. Needless to say little man was NOT happy. I get home this evening and it's bleeding around the top, he was crying for the last hour and a half. I had to break out the Infant Tylenol for the first time to get him to calm down. I told Wesley to never let an old man touch his willie ever again. Words of wisdom to live by the rest of his life.

Six month stats:

Weight: 18 lbs 9 oz. (70%)
Height: 26.5 inches (50%)
Head: HUGE (90%) (I don't remember the number, the kids got a big noggin)

Baby Bloogk?

I ran across Wesley's baby book today while cleaning his closet. Looks like I started filling it out when he was a week old and have not touched it since. I've decided this blog is his baby book. It's a much more detailed look at his first year of life than I could ever write in his baby book. After a year I will print it off and go to Kinko's and have it bound, and TA DA there is his baby book. I'm a genius. Nah, just lazy.

Balancing Act

I am in constant amazement of how "much" it takes to raise a baby. How much time, energy, love, money, patience and sanity. There is a definite balancing act involved as well. Sean goes to work, I stay home with the baby. He comes home takes the baby and I go to work. Without the ability to pass off the baby to my partner I'm afraid the "sanity" part might be lost. There is a part of me that is on hold now that I have a baby. Part of my previous life that I hope hasn't been lost but rather is on hold until Wesley gets older and more self reliant. My brother-in-law asked me today what Sean and I have been up to lately, and I laughed and said we've been up to absolutely nothing. We've been raising a child for the past six months, that's pretty much it. I personally don't know how single mothers out there do it. How do they manage the balancing act? They are my heros.

Favorite movie quote of the week:

"We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured the next logical step was to have us a critter."

It's from "Raising Arizona." Love this movie. It's more funny once you have a kid.

Glorious Kitchen Utensils

Well it's about time!!

So I've been not looking forward to taking Wesley in for his six month well baby visit because I knew the doc would ask if he's rolled yet and I'd have to say nope. Well this morning he FINALLY did it! He rolled from back to tummy without any help. Yeah!! He was lying there and I put the musical train behind his head on the ground and turned it on, he turned his head around to see it and flipped over onto his belly. He just sat there and smiled at me for a minute like he was so proud of himself. Everything I'd read said they usually roll between 3-4 months, I kind of got worried at 5 months and just figured he'd skip doing it if he hadn't rolled by 6 months. I attribute it to him not getting enough tummy time and because he's just the most laid back baby ever. He's been sitting up by himself for a month now and can stand if we hold onto his little hands so he's hitting every other milestone just fine, I'm just happy he finally hit this one.

What a fun age!

It has been a lot of fun watching the transformation that has occurred since Wesley has hit the six month mark. He has always been in his own little world up until now, he's discovered there is a lot going on around him. He's never really noticed the dogs until recently. He'll sit in his high chair and just watch them running around being silly. They always have their big old black noses next to his head looking for remains of baby food. Sophie jumped up on the counter yesterday and cleaned the half eaten bowl of butternut squash for me, guess dogs like baby food too.

Breastfeeding a six month old is dramatically different from feeding a newborn. He used to eat every two hours on the dot, now I will feed him every 3-4 hours and it's short, light feedings...like I have to force him to eat. It's like he's so excited to see what else is new that he's too impatient to sit around eating. It's quite nice. On one hand I'm somewhat excited to see the end of breastfeeding, on the other I'll miss the closeness that it provides. My goal is to wean him at a year old. We have a special little thing that we'll do during breastfeeding that I'll miss: I'll smile down at him and he'll look up at me and smile back while still eating. If I giggle, he'll giggle. It's our little thing. I'll miss it.

Whenever I write about him having a sleeping problem I just need to realize that it lasts about three days and then he goes back to the little dream sleeper I've always had. We are truly lucky to have a wonderful sleeping baby. Right now he goes to sleep around 10pm and sleeps through the night until 10am, twice this week he slept till 11am. It's insane. I love it. Do you know how long it's been since I've been able to wake up ON MY OWN, with the sun streaming in the window and just lay there? Well let's just say a long time. I now can get up, feed dogs, feed livestock, feed myself and watch The Price is Right before Wesley wakes up. It's heaven. I feel a little guilty with Sean getting up at 5am and going to work and me sleeping in until 8 or 9. I'm just stock piling the sleep because I know this routine will come to an end soon, just like all the others. I'm just soaking it up while I can.

Crazy silly naked baby with bad hair

Enough said.

What it means to be a Mom

I saw this over at another Mom's blog who received it from a friend of hers. It's called, "Being a Mom" and it represents so much of what I have thought to myself since Wesley was born but didn't know how to articulate:

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."

"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?", that every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her, that when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub, that an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine.

That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to k now that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

Happy Half Birthday!

Today our little dude turns six months old! It also marks the departure of our little sleeper. I know now how the rest of the Moms out there feel with the babies that wake up multiple times during the night. It sucks. I'd like to go back to the easy to put to sleep, sleeps for 12 hours a night baby. I shall remember fondly all of the sleep I got in the past. I shall now look forward to bags under the eyes and the lovely glazed zombie feeling. Oh well such is life.

Half a year favorites:

Favorite Food: Pureed carrots and booby juice

Favorite Dog: Chance...he likes to rip out as much terrier fur as possible with his kung fu grip.

Favorite Toy: The demonic Laugh and Learn Puppy....die psycho dog die. Gus the Stunt (not STUD Randi) Giraffe ranks high up there as well.

Favorite Past Time: Riding around in Baby Bjorn, watching football with pops, ripping dog hair off of dog, looking at cute self in mirror, fishy watching, peeing in bath tub, farting...this child can rival my mother-in-law in the gas department.

Favorite Outfit: Buck naked...he's all smiles when he's naked. But the little outfits you got him for Christmas, Becca, are a close second...love them! He's wearing one in the picture above.

Favorite Song: Oh I Wish I Was A Little Bar of Soap...with its new and improved lyrics.

Nicknames: Beefcake, Jabba, Gooselet, Buglet, Ducklet and Little Dude.
_______

Dislikes: Going to sleep at night....that's pretty much it. Oh and getting dressed up in random snowsuits.

The loop hole

We know how much Wesly loves looking at the fishies. We know how much Wesley likes sitting in his Jumperoo, so when you combine the two.....put the jumperoo in front of the aquarium...you get 45 minutes of uninterrupted lay on the couch and do absolutely nothing time. Victory is mine.

Jabba the Hutt Baby

Ok this child has some serious Jabba the Hutt rolls going on. I always thought he was on the skinny side, not anymore! We call him out little beefcake. He's quickly outgrowing his infant car sear, so we are in the market for a convertible car seat. Also, much to my dismay, he is outgrowing his swing. He still takes naps in the swing but the motor can't keep up with his Jabba self so it slows down swinging and starts clanking.....which of course wakes him up. So right now, as I type, I am sitting with the laptop in his room next to the swing with him sleeping in it...every time it starts to slow down I have to give it a small push to quiet it down and keep him sleeping. We are having some battles with his naps during the day so I am resorting to doing pretty much anything to get him to sleep. I'll even go out driving in the afternoon just so he'll get an hour nap in and not be cranky all evening.

Wesley is doing a great job of sitting up by himself and can stand on his legs for a few minutes at a time. He's sure growing up fast. Friday's are his new food day, when a new food is introduced. This Friday is Butternut Squash. Mmmmm Butternut Squash. So far he's had Carrots and Sweet Potato. I think both of them are quite tasty, we'll see if squash is any good. Yes, I have no life....I'm rating baby food.

Ode to the Jumperoo!

Wesley has unofficially hit the six month mark and turned into a little mover and a shaker. So we ordered the Fisher Price Rainforest Jumperoo last week and it came yesterday. Boy does he think it's ultra cool. He hasn't mastered the actual jumping yet but the toys are sure interesting to him. I had to place a phone book under his feet to make him tall enough to touch the floor. I can't wait for him to figure out how to jump. I will be there with the video camera and will post a clip. Also being near floor level has proven to be exciting since he can now see the dogs at eye level. He spent most of the time last night in the jumperoo just looking at the crazy dogs running around.

The baby food adventure is continuing with sweet potatoes. Yet another favorite. He hasn't met a veggie he doesn't like. I won't go into much detail about the change in his diapers, let's just say "What goes in, comes right out the same color."

Six month profile

I got bored this morning during little dudes nap so I made a silhouette of his profile in Illustrator. I'm going to try and do this every couple years and frame them to see the changes.

Wesley's New Years Resolutions

Happy New Years everyone! I'd like to say I had a real eventful New Years Eve but I didn't. I visited my friend Jessica and hung out for a couple of hours, that was fun, went home and put Wesley to bed. Sean and I then played Lego Star Wars on Playstation (Wesley's Christmas gift from Grandpa) until 11:30 at which time Wesley woke up for the first time of the night. I was nursing him back to sleep in his nursery when fireworks and gun fire alerted me to it being midnight. Yes out in the country rednecks like to shoot their guns off, it's kind of scary. When I finally got to bed I got a sleepy "Happy New Years" from Sean and we both passed out. Wow, aren't we a bunch of wild and crazy people?

Wesley's New Years Resolutions:

1. Continue to have Mom or Dad clean my rear until the end of time.
2. Master the Jumperoo
3. Roll over....yep STILL haven't rolled over...he's such a lazy butt
4. Watch as much football with Dad as possible
5. Grow a tooth or maybe ten of them
6. Hang out with Aunt Jessica more...she makes me laugh
7. Learn hand eye coordination so I can play Playstation with the folks

Tasty Veggies

Wesley has been eating rice cereal for almost three weeks now and is getting bored so we started carrots last Friday. Man, he likes carrots. We were given a high chair while visiting for Christmas so now he's not eating in his stroller anymore which is nice. We call him our little T-Rex, he opens his mouth and makes a roaring noise while launching himself at the spoon full of pureed carrots. Pretty funny stuff.

Winter Wonderland

We've only been home from Christmas vacation for two days and I'm already having some cabin fever, so Wesley went into his front pack and he and I ventured into the snow. Our area is having a record breaking December for snow fall amounts so we haven't gotten out much. Wesley caught his first cold while away for Christmas which he then passed on to me yesterday. Luckily it only caused him one sleepless night. He's feeling much better after two days. Me on the other hand......

Wesley's First Christmas

We spent this Christmas with Sean's side of the family up in his old hometown. There were 15 of us all together, there were people from New Mexico, South Dakota and Washington. We had a really nice time seeing all the new babies and catching up with everyone. It's a shame we all live so far apart, but when we do all get together it's a hoot!

Counting our blessings

Christmas is upon us yet again. I'm always so surprised at how quickly it sneaks up on me each year. This year we are piling into the car and heading north 5 hours to spent Christmas with Sean's family. In fact we are heading out tomorrow and I have yet to pack even a sock. I always tend to wait to do anything until the last minute, so this should be an enjoyable next 24 hours. It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and to forget the reason why we're celebrating. Here I am worried about the muddy dog prints on the floor, all the food I'm going to eat in the next week (HELLO thunder thighs), how Wesley is going to travel, the horrid weather forecasted and so on (I could go on for twelve pages)....and I need to remember what the season is all about! We need to all count our blessings! There will be three little precious babies here this year that weren't last year, loving parents and grandparents that just adore them, we all have our health and are able to make the trip to be together, I am blessed to have a wonderful loving husband who puts food on the table and is such a great Daddy. And I am especially thankful this year for this little boy who inspires me to be a better person everyday. There are so many things to be grateful for and I hope everyone can be inspired by the season.

A few of my favorite things....

I've been thinking about all the wonderful aspects of being a new mom and I thought I'd write some of them down. So here goes it:

I love walking into Wesley's room in the morning when he wakes up and getting the biggest toothless smile you've ever seen, almost like he hasn't seen me in twelve years.

I love that out of all the books we read each day, he can get so excited over this one pop up book about trains, planes and automobiles. You can bring that particular book out and he gets wide eyed, shakes a little and makes a Ooohhhh sound. Love it.

I love that we can be doing anything and I can say "Daddy's home!" and he'll look around trying to find Dad.

I love that he smiles at himself when he pees in the tub.

I love that I now play Playstation at 4 am while pumping. In particular, Jax Combat Racing. What's better than racing around blowing up cars while pumping half asleep?

Christmas with my family

Five months old!

Our little man is five months old! Well, I'm a day late but on any other normal day I would be able to post to the blog after the baby goes to sleep in the evening and I have my two hours before going to bed to myself, this is a thing of the past I have realized. Wesley has decided sleeping is no fun and staying up with Mom and Dad is great fun. So he is now going to bed around 11 pm and sleeping in in the morning. Just when I think we are on a routine schedule he likes to switch it up on me. Oh well. Today I'm flying the coop and leaving Wesley with my Mom while I head into town and do odds and ends. She then gets him tomorrow while Sean and I go to the movies for his birthday, it will be the first time we'll be able to go to the movies since July 11th (Harry Potter opening day) which was also the day I was induced. He'll have fun with Grandma, she's been bugging me to babysit him so this should make everyone happy!

Silly little monkey

Our little monkey has decided that staying up until 11 pm is quite enjoyable. In fact he's so awake and happy that we were able to get a video of him laughing. He sat in this chair and laughed hysterically at Gus (his giraffe) for like 10 minutes, silly little man. I don't know why the change in sleeping habits other than he is hitting the five month mark today and that could signify yet another growth spurt (oh yippie). The cereal eating is going ok, still not fond of it and I am pretty sure all of it is ending up on the bib and none down the gullet. Oh well.

Down the hatch

Wesley has let us know over the past few weeks that it is time he needs more than just breast milk. Every time we eat something in front of him his eyes get really wide and he makes these hilarious grunting noises. I thought we could get closer to the six month mark but I decided this evening it was time. I've had the rice cereal in the cabinet and those special little rubber covered spoons in the drawer for a few weeks now. Well, it went ok.....a picture (or two) are worth a thousand words.....

.....BEFORE eating......


.......AFTER eating......

Enough said. We'll be trying again tomorrow....and yes, he's in his stroller... we need a high chair.

Frozen Fish

In our front yard is a decent sized koi pond. Every year I go buy 6-9 fairly good sized goldfish at the local pond supply store. We dump them in the pond in May and by September they have had several batches of babies and the pond is stuffed with goldfish. The first season winter approached and I got my big fish net and fished out a large majority of them and set up a stock tank in an unused bathroom and over wintered them in our house. That was a lot of work for $3 goldfish. So ever since that first winter I've just let nature takes its course and restocked come spring. Well last week I was out looking at the half frozen pond and saw a few sad looking fish swimming sideways. They actually looked dead but upon closer inspection their gills were moving so I ran in the garage got my net and a rubbermaid container and went out and fished out all the frozen fish I could find. I brought them in the house and let them warm up and sure enough they perked right up. I dumped them in the unused downstairs 30 gallon aquarium. Wesley thinks the aquarium is just the most fascinating thing he's ever seen. He'll sit there mouth open, saliva coming out in a string just staring at the fish. I posted a video clip below.

Goof ball

We got to go for a walk yesterday in the 65 degree weather. He enjoyed getting out of the house as much as I did.

Mellow man

Not a whole lot new happening in our household. Wesley has decided to nap again during the day which makes my life so much easier. I'm actually getting some sculpting done again, which is good since my Christmas orders are backing up. He's so much happier with a little sleep during the day. They say the average five month old needs 14-16 hours of sleep a day, he's right in the middle. He's also learning to entertain himself better than before. He'll babble in his crib in the morning, and just waits for me to come get him. He's so laid back, it's wonderful. I'm once again having fun buying clothes for him since he's outgrowing his 3-6 month stuff. The Christmas outfits out there are just too cute. Uggg, I guess it's good I'm working again to finance his new clothes!

Wesley the ball thrower in training

Ok, I love taking little video clips of Wesley and posting them. I took two today that I love but will only bore you with one. I'm sure the novelty of it will wear off soon so just bear with me. This clip is Wesley and Dad during their Sunday football time being bombarded by Cisco and his never ending ball. Cisco is starting to train Wesley a little early, poor kid. You only have to toss the ball once and that dog will give you the ball until the end of time.